im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
