made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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