so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
