i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
