they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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