I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Found the puke drawer
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
