yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
