i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
