My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i love accidental penises.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
