My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
