I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
