I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize