I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
