It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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