we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
