So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
