his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
