Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
