you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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