plz talk dirty to me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize