my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
