omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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