Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
