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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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• (831): View more from California

  i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.

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• (510): View more from California

  i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me

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• (510): View more from California

  I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?

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• (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???

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• (310): View more from California

  dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor

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• (626): View more from California

  You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?

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