Whod you bang
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
