I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
