so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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