The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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