bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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