I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
