u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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