we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My feet surprised me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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