Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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