My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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