Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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