I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
