Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
do herpes really smell.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
