so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
