I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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