I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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