ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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