Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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