I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i barfeds in our rink
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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