Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's never too late to be topless.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
