I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
