one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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