life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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