Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
