Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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