Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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