I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
