Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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