if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
