piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
