If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize