currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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