ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
