That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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