i don't like sucking hair
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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