I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
